Self Pity at it's Finest, Folks

Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned From My Honda Civic

In the last 8 weeks, the following has happened to my poor little car:

• Hit and run to the bumper (ouch)
• Blown tire
• Predatory Towing
• Baseball-sized shattering of the windshield

Now, only one of these things can be attributed to my personal shortcomings/common sense should-have-seen-it-comings. As I recline with my glass of wine, I am inclined to wonder, "Why Me?" Well, to be honest, it could have been any of us. I do believe that there are lessons to be learned from each of these incidents, however. I will kindly share them to spare each of you the soul searching that is sure to follow any visit to a shady tow truck lot at 4 am:

• Hit and run to the bumper: This neighborly gesture tells you to trust no one! At least no one who lives in the 1600 building of Treybrooke Circle. You know who you are. I smiled and said hello to you on a daily basis, I'm sure. I believed that you would never do anything to hurt me. Until that one evening when I came home, and the damage had already been done...
• Blown out tire: 1. Keep both hands on the wheel, literally and figuratively. You never know when stuff is going to get out of control. 2. Chivalry is not dead. Chauvinism isn't either, though.
• Predatory Towing: Read the fine print. Or at least the bold, bright red print. That's a good start.
• Shattered Windshield: A little background on this one: About ten minutes before this latest mishap, I reminded myself to make a conscious effort to not follow closely behind other cars specifically to avoid rocks that may be kicked up onto my hood or windshield. So of course there was no one in front of me. I was in the clear, right? Please, just look who you're talking to. A truck heading in the opposite direction dropped a boulder on my windshield! Which makes our final lesson: No matter how smooth the road ahead looks, there will always be bumps in the road. They are unavoidable. If you can remember to expect the unexpected, and remind yourself that life always goes on, it might hurt a little bit less. A secondary lesson here is this: Don't live in one shitty town and commute to work in a shittier town down a shitty little country road.